Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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