I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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