Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
