She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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