I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i out mim tonsoeep
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