i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
