make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
