I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
