Define "chronic" masturbator.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
