Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
ok first of all what the fuck
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
