Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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