did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
