They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
