My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
