Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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