You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
