btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
