I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
