So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
