This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
