Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I need water and some morals
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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