apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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