I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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