mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
