Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize