Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
