I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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