Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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