I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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