I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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