hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
