Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize