so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Hippo gnu deer
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
