Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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