Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
