:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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