I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
