So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
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