Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
