u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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