we're blogging at a bar
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
