She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
