I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
