It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Holy sore nipples Batman
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
