Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
