Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize