Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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