Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
