How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
