The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
