Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
this will be a night to untag.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
