I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
