Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
