I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize