let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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