So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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