remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
