no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
