im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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