Do you still have your period?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
