im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
operation have a gay friend backfired
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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