thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
