You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
