Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
