you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
two words: eviction party
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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