you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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