i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
