i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
