If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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