i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
