You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
