Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
The Olympian is in my bed
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
