I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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