When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
