so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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