You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize