So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
sarcasm needs its own font
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
